While making a list of topics of what I should write for a proper post, I thought why not speak about this question that I was asked by many ‘are you ready for marriage’? even after I got married. I mean this is the question that keeps lingering in my head that actually makes me whine a lot to the mister that I can’t do this marriage thing, it’s child abuse (hello big eye roll from husband). And then I eventually stop and get back to normal life (things that don’t include ‘the man’) and I forget about the cribbing.
A few years ago, over a random WhatsApp chat with mum, she asked me sternly, can we start looking for a prince charming for you (it was more of a pretty please with a cherry on top – there was no cherry, but a lot of please). Though there was no pressure, mum just wanted me to get married so I could make her a grandma very soon (again no pressure). And like a dutiful daughter who could go miles to make her parents happy (no pun intended), I agreed. And then started this hunt for the perfect man (thank you India and your arranged marriages saga). While the elders got on to the roads holding boards ‘please marry my daughter’, lol jk, that’s just too tacky, they just resorted to other sensible means of spreading the words among the gossip aunties, while I kept asking myself AM I READY FOR THIS?
I didn’t have an answer at that time, but now a month in to the marriage, I think I may have something which may not be a suitable answer, but could be good enough. I honestly still feel I am not ready yet. To be living with this one person all your life and share a bed (I tried convincing for 2 single beds and all I got was a big shut up). I still feel as this young girl who wanted to tick at least 25 things from a bucket list of 100 before having to think twice if I should be buying cream or white curtains. And this made me brought to the realization that one can never be ready for marriage if you honestly don’t want to marry. And the main factor for one not wanting to marry, is if you haven’t met the right person.The last jigsaw piece to complete your puzzle.
I also strongly feel that one can never actually be ready for marriage. There is never a right or wrong time, you’re never too old or never too young (but not below 18, that’s illegal) to get married. It’s all about meeting the right person. When you meet the right person, everything suddenly falls in to place. You start being happy, you stop binge watching friends for the hundredth time and start doing things that you never thought you would ever (like exercising, yes I actually did that, for about a week, too much hard work). Even when you’re at great heights of your career or just starting out, you will be ready to take the plunge. Because you met the right person.
Then came the phase of meeting boys, talking to them. I did meet a couple of suitable (really good looking and wow kinda!) guys, some were really nice and some were like never mind. But none had that wind blowing, violin playing, butterflies feeling (total Main Hoon Na reference). They all made me feel that I am not ready yet, I’m still too young, I always forget some or the other ingredient in the biryaani (and bro, biryaani is life, it has to be perfect). Until I met Sameer or well just spoke to him, my prince charming (husband mention of the day). There wasn’t immediate love, but there was this strong connection, that made way to long conversation without having to think (I asked if he is a virgin on our first meet). An ease of speaking your mind. A comfort level to say that Shahrukh will always be first love (there is no 2 way to that)d.
And probably that is when I felt, I may not be completely ready for marriage, but I am not, not ready either. Like ,a half glass situation. We may not be a perfect pair, made for each other, we fight a lot (a lot means a lot, that I was actually ready to throw him to the sharks on our honeymoon) but we both make each other happy. Life suddenly became easy with him. I was ready to quit my job, especially when I was doing pretty amazing for myself, wear the apron of a house wife, cook, do the groceries, water the garden and everything in my imaginary Downtown Abbey mansion. See, I even saw my self in my own mansion, a person who never wanted to live in anything bigger than a studio apartment with a single bed.
Some will think I am living a Mills & Boon story and this doesn’t work realistically. Honestly speaking it doesn’t but if you really want and have the will power to work hard (in the relation and make lots of money, cz bro everyone needs money, everyone is not born with khandaani jayazat) your partner and you can make it through every thing cruel that life throws at you. It’s all about meeting that one person who will make you want to go beyond levels just to hire a violinist, set up a big fan to make the butterflies flutter (and this actually happens, bros).
This is just my experience. Everyone has their own story. Some may relate to what I say, while some may be like this was way too much bull shit. And everyone’s story is beautiful in their own way. I am living my half empty glass fairy tale that would be filled with a some good and some bad experiences that come our way.
Until next time!